"Day and evening appointments available."
"All the evidence suggests that it is how you manage change that matters, not the fact that you experience such a change in your life."
Suzie Hayman
Sexually Compulsive Behaviours and Sexual Addictions
Sex is an important part of a healthy, intimate relationship. But for some people, compulsive sexual behaviour can crowd out everything else, leaving relationships, careers and even lives in ruins. What stops people coming for counselling is often a deep sense of shame and loss of self-esteem.
In being sensitive to the feelings involved, Karen will make an assessment exploring whether people do have a sexual addiction. She will then offer options around the appropriateness of individual and /or couple counselling work. Suitability for couples work will depend on the addiction and the recovery phases of the couple.
Areas of sexually compulsive behaviour/sexual addiction can include:-
- Fantasy sex (usually plus masturbation)
- High risk/excitement around multiple affairs
- Seductive roles sex (serial conquests)
- Paying for sex
- Trading/selling sex
- Anonymous sex (cruising)
- Voyeurism
- Pornography
- Exhibitionism
- Exploitive sex
Pornography can especially be addictive. Research has shown that from the mid 1990's there has been an increase in the number of people presenting with porn –related problems where healthy sexual interests and desires are often twisted by pornography. This can take people away from real intimacy and far from helping people have a sexual relationship with each other; porn's emphasis is about arousing the user to have a sexual relationship with it.
In working with individuals and couples in recovering from sexually compulsive behaviours and sexual addiction, Karen had designed a model which encompasses:-
- Identifying the sexual addiction
- Exploring motivation for change
- Addressing the underlying factors of the addiction
- Bridging the gap from 'escape' to 'realty'
- Helping cope with lapses and relapses
- Restoring real intimacy
- Developing healthy sexual relationships
In working through this model, Karen can help the individual and/or the couple develop a new understanding of themselves, restore personal integrity, rebuild a relationship harmed by sexual compulsion and develop a satisfying sexual life without the sexual addiction.